Don’t abandon
the way it makes you feel,
the way it breaks your heart
to know
that though the stars
are out tonight
missiles also dot the sky,
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The lines on my face tell the intimate story of a life well-lived. Of all the days wind whipped and sun stroked by the wild and mighty brush of the mountains. Of the water of my tears and a love so powerful it has carved beautiful canyons out of all of my losses. Of an unreasonable joy that shatters, like fireworks, from the corners of my eyes.
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Children of the night,
lost and lingering in the recesses of darkness,
come close now
to the fire of unconditional love,
so that I may see your sad and shameful faces.
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The alluring possibility
of a blank page.
I wonder if I,
with so many years
already written,
could be empty like that,
could turn the page
on a life half written,
or maybe almost complete,
and find a clear space
to step into.
It is here, in the temple of the shadows
that I learn what kindness is
and how forgiveness gives
without asking for anything in return.
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I allow the chaos to disrobe me
and shred the evidence
of who I once was.
All of my proof of self,
my arguments of worth,
abandon me now.
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He thought he could erase you,
make you disappear from the story of humanity
and the dignity of all that matters.
I have blood on my hands
that won’t come clean
no matter how hard
I try to ignore it
or wipe it away.
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Sew yourself up another mask.
Go ahead, make it pretty or make it tough.
Make it who you think you need to be.
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To give in the face of scarcity, to love in the midst of fear, to trust in the field of doubt, to be present in times of distraction, is to fully live amongst the slowly dying.
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We are all leaders and we are all followers at every given moment in time. Always someone ahead of us, always someone behind us, and always someone beside us.
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You see, as I have been stumbling around in the shock of the waning momentum, this house of order and control has transformed into a house of creativity and play.
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My love, I must tell you there is an insidious and brutal war that has been waged against you. It’s robbing us all of the wisdom of your years and shattering your heart with self-loathing.
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I spent the whole day with my hands in the earth. She obliterated my everyday perspective, and showed me how, out here, we abide by a different kind of law.
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We are the mothers and the daughters of the mothers who are growing old and vanishing into the house of their aloneness.
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Life as we know it has been canceled. The millions of urgent tasks we crudely stacked together to construct a shaky house of safety and worth—shattered.
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Bringing fear into the light of our awareness is one of the most powerful actions we can take to meet these wild times.
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